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Post by mike on Apr 11, 2014 11:05:35 GMT -6
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Post by Yayger on Apr 11, 2014 11:24:19 GMT -6
Bad yayger... bad bad yayger!! Go to your room! Lol yea maybe.... But you laughed... :lol: |
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Post by 06blackmax on Apr 11, 2014 13:39:54 GMT -6
Bad thing about it , when you send someone to their room now a days their is more to do in the room than out!
But yeah it was funny!
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Post by mike on May 8, 2014 15:32:19 GMT -6
As a trucker stops at a red light, a blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the window, and she says "Hi, my name is Heather and you're losing some of your load."
The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street. When the truck stops for another red light, the girl catches up again. She jumps out of her car, runs up and knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window. As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly, "Hi my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and continues down the street. At the third red light, the same thing happens again. All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up, knocks on the truck door. The trucker lowers the window. Again she says "Hi, my name is Heather, and you are losing some of your load!"
When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to the next light. When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde's car. He knocks on her window, and as she lowers it, he says "Hi, my name is Kevin, it's Winter in Michigan and I'm driving the SALT TRUCK!"
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Post by 06blackmax on May 21, 2014 20:36:03 GMT -6
Two old men were talking one afternoon about there hunting dogs. One man said to the other I want a new hunting dog. His friend told him he needed a "pointer". After talking about it his friend told him he knew a man that had a fine pointer for sale. So he went to ask about it. The dogs owner came out of his house and when asked said he did indeed have a pointer dog for sale. Said he was right over there pointing in the direction of his shed. Well the old man said "he don't look like much". The seller proceeded to tell the man not to bad mouth his dog till he tried him. So the old man took him out for three or four hours. Upon his return the seller asked how he like the dog. The old man said well he's a great dog. Friendly and all but not much on hunting. The seller asked why. The old man said " well for the first hour or so every few feet he would stop and get real stiff like and raise one leg and his tail would stick straight out behind him. " Then the old man said "after I beat the hell out of him five or six times he quit all that and started keeping up with me!"
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Post by mpdxtreme on May 26, 2014 12:48:38 GMT -6
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Post by mpdxtreme on May 26, 2014 12:49:27 GMT -6
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Post by mike on May 26, 2014 22:25:56 GMT -6
A Man and His Alligator
A guy walks into a bar with a pet alligator by his side. He puts the alligator up on the bar. He turns to the astonished patrons. "I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my genitals inside.
Then the gator will close his mouth for one minute. He'll then open his mouth and I'll remove my unit unscathed. In return for witnessing this spectacle, each of you will buy me a drink."
The crowd murmured their approval. The man stood up on the bar, dropped his trousers, and placed his privates in the alligator's open mouth. The gator closed his mouth as the crowd gasped.
After a minute, the man grabbed a beer bottle and rapped the alligator hard on the top of its head. The gator opened his mouth and the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered and the first of his free drinks were delivered. The man stood up again and made another offer.
"I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try".
A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar. A blond woman timidly spoke up.
"I'll try, but you have to promise not to hit me on the head with the beer bottle".
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Post by mike on May 26, 2014 22:28:35 GMT -6
A Letter From a Redneck Mother to Her Son
Dear Son,
I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved so we'd be safer. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.
This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.
It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.
The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.
We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.
About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.
Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.
Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.
Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.
Love, Ma
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Post by 06blackmax on May 27, 2014 4:57:52 GMT -6
Boy.......that hit close to home!  |
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Post by 06blackmax on May 30, 2014 11:07:21 GMT -6
The Survey
A marketing manager cornered me in the mall one afternoon and asked me a series of questions.
Q: What shaving cream do you use?
A: Bubba's
The interviewer recorded my answer.
Q: What aftershave do you use?
A: Bubba's
Q: What toothpaste do you use?
A: Bubba's
Q: What deodorant?
A: Bubba's
Q: What shampoo?
A: Bubba's
Q: Which soap?
A: Bubba's
The interviewer said "OK". I have one final question: Please tell me what is this "Bubba's"? Is it a foreign country or what?
I answered her and said, " No, it's my room mate!"
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Post by 06blackmax on May 30, 2014 11:14:31 GMT -6
Blonde Gas Prices
When the family car developed a slight knock, the husband asked his wife if she had bought premium or regular gas, but she couldn't remember. "You probably bought the cheaper gas," he said. "That could account for the engine running so rough." "No, the gas wasn't cheaper!" she replied indignantly.
"Well how much did it cost?" asked the husband. "It cost the same as it always does," said the wife. "I bought the usual ten dollars worth!"
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Post by mpdxtreme on Jun 2, 2014 12:37:59 GMT -6
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Post by mpdxtreme on Jun 2, 2014 12:41:29 GMT -6
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Post by Somebody on Jun 2, 2014 20:23:49 GMT -6
MEOW!!!!
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Just remember...we give them back in 10 months 
Aug 15, 2015 10:21:43 GMT -6
Just remember...we give them back in 10 months 
Aug 15, 2015 10:21:43 GMT -6
It's alive!! 
